Nanofic.com - Short Stories for Short People

Monsterlogic

2010-10-13T23:55:00.002-04:00

by Ari Collins

"Did mommy and daddy tell you that bullshit?" I asked. He kept sobbing. "Well, they're lying. Of course there's monsters." He cried harder. "But! See, here's the thing. Monsters don't wait 'till you've watched their movies. Did they eat you last night? No? Then they won't eat you tonight. Okay?"

He nodded, eyelids beginning to droop.

Five Minus Five

2010-10-05T13:46:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

John sat, grinning.

Dave just raised his eyebrows.

John said, “I asked her out.”

“High five! Where are you two going?”

John leaned back, squinting thoughtfully. “Gonna study for our math test. Maybe get
some coffee.”

Dave frowned. “Dude. High five rescinded.” He stood. “Math test,” he muttered, shaking his head as he walked away.

Show Your Work

2010-10-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

“Seven times seven is thirty-six.”

“No, it’s not.” She sighed in frustration.

“It is, mommy!” His eyes sparkled. “Look, I’ll show you!”

She glanced up and for a split-second saw the space between his fingers glimmer and turn.

“But--” was all she had time to say as everything slid through itself.

Gut

2010-09-30T18:59:00.001-04:00

by Ari Collins

“Not in public. Honey.”

“But your tummy’s so squishy,” she said. “How do you touch anything else?”

He coughed. “Train’s late.”

“It’s important. Like... like... running my hand along the railing back there.”

He looked at his shirt, then grabbed her wrist and turned her dirty palm upwards. “Goddamnit, Hope. This is a formal event.”

Until You Love Me

2010-09-30T14:03:00.001-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Lady Gaga. Stalking you." She sipped her coffee.

He nodded, wide-eyed. “Her limo drives by! Late at night. She--"

His phone rang. He silenced it.

“Who’s that?” she asked.

He twitched. “Pretty sure it’s Tom Brokaw. He--”

He spun around just in time to see Barack Obama nervously duck behind a menu.

Everyday

2010-09-28T23:22:00.001-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

The smell of her hair buoyed his chest as he stretched.

She smiled. “What’ll we do today?”

“We should check--"

There was a dry thud at the window.
He yawned, reaching for the shotgun. “Sounds like they’ve grown back again. Mouths probably have, too.”

Outside, a rattling scream swelled in the morning light.

Shouldergeist

2010-09-28T11:20:00.002-04:00

by Ari Collins

“Can this phantom limb third arm thing of yours, like, touch anything?” She sipped our shitty frat house beer.

I shrugged. “Sometimes it feels like it bumps something. If I turn too fast. Mostly it just itches like fucking crazy.”

She furrowed her brow adorably. “Nice meeting you.”

I stammered as she walked away. Something had shaken my “hand.”

The Soma Truck

2010-09-26T02:31:00.002-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

“And how many today, sir?” She batted her lashes at him.
“I dunno. Several.” He swallowed hard, eyes darting up to her and just as quickly away. His forehead shone.
“Five sound good, dear?” She purred.
He accepted with trembling fingers.
She winked and climbed back into the truck. The passing policeman smiled and waved.

The Time Laser

2010-09-25T01:38:00.000-04:00

by Ari Collins

"Know how my machine works? Your brother did... or were you an only child?" Doctor Sepulchre laughed hoarsely.

"Moralman will save m--" Outergirl began as the Time Laser fired. Who'd she been talking about? By the time the beam faded, she'd never started the sentence.

"Eventually," he whispered, "I'll be the only man you've known."

Who Laughs Last

2010-09-23T11:59:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

His key wouldn’t fit.
He heard a snap and looked up to see her walking away from the next apartment.
He looked back at his lock. "Fuck did you do?"
Something hit his back. A keyring. Blanks and snapped-off halves.
"Fuck you and everyone you know,"she yelled, and slammed her car door.

Tommy's Dreams and Gina's Six-String

2010-09-23T11:00:00.002-04:00

by Ari Collins

She locked eyes with me as she finished belting out "Livin' on a Prayer," handed the microphone to a guy performing "Bitch," and staggered over, collapsing in the arms of... her boyfriend just to my right.

"That one's for you," she slurred, staring intensely into my eyes.

"Ummm," I said, and I meant every word.

In Dolor Veritas

2010-09-20T20:00:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

He tugged at his transfixed wrist, and the scabbed ooze of his flesh twisted darkly against the nail. The smashed bones in his hand twitched as the metal scraped the ends of his severed tendons.

"You win," he rasped.

"Not yet," she said. She draped another fold of soggy newspaper across his wrinkled brow. "Soon, darling."

That's What

2010-09-20T16:42:00.000-04:00

by Ari Collins

It's never about control. Here, in this dank basement, I help you tie yourself to your husband's college futon and I watch your eyes. Maybe it's about your eyes. They beg me; Jesus knows exactly what for.

When I want, if I want, your eyes flutter and roll everywhere, then lie still. So temporarily calmed.

Sweet Dreams

2010-09-19T01:03:00.001-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

The moment lasted decades, her eyes locked to the animal, his eyes to her.

"Pony," she said, eyes gleaming.

"Yes, little one," the clown said, reaching for her flaxen curls. "Pony."

Her mother turned, shivering suddenly. "Come on, bubbie."

The clown raised his gloved hand slowly.

Mother and daughter fled into the crowd.

He watched.

The David Attenborough Effect

2010-09-17T10:24:00.002-04:00

by Ari Collins

I changed channels. "Hey, it's Blue Planet! You blasted this whenever you fucked Kris."

He squirmed on the couch. "We didn't want anyone hearing."

"Real discreet. When we heard Attenborough, we always knew."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Frickin' Pavlov." He stood and walked stiffly to his room.

"Dude!" I yelled. "These fish are like spaceships, dude!"

ftl ftw

2010-08-01T13:14:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft and Ari Collins

Sol's final light glimmered tranquily at him. Shivering, he squinted at the too-bright gauge. Three, four more jumps. Tops.

He wiped frost from the timer with stiff, fumbling fingers. Before the numbers could start another last dance, he took a deep breath and pushed the button.

Nothing happened.

Sol shone just a little brighter.

Theory of Mind

2010-08-01T13:01:00.000-04:00

by Ari Collins

Mary opened the Crayola box. "It's cookies!"

Dr. Pulsifer smiled. "But what will mommy think is in there?"

Mary looked confused. "Cookies."

"Let's see! Here comes mommy now. What's in the box, mommy?"

"Cookies," Mrs. Hambry said, then staggered and held her head. "How did I..."

Mary brought the box over. "Eat a cookie, Mommy."

h/c

2010-04-11T07:46:00.002-04:00

By Robert Gryfft

He couldn't find the right balance of blankets all night. He spent too long in the shower adjusting the hot water, and jerked off even though he was late.
He didn't talk to her all day. He made a couple false starts, and she looked at him strangely. Finally he just said, "I love you."

Let It Ride

2010-04-07T01:34:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

He spins, clicks, smiles, all balls and bravado.

Luckily, neither have anything to do with this game.

I put the revolver to my head carefully.

Click.

I grin.

Click.

He’s gone once so far. I smile ghastly.

Click.

He starts to sweat. I’ve gone thrice. And now:

Click.

I hand him the revolver.

Txt

2010-04-05T01:10:00.000-04:00

by Tristan Parker

You see that girl sitting on the bus, cellphone out, always texting? She could be any one of millions of teenagers: glued to their phones, constantly connected. And she is. But she isn’t writing about boys, or movies, or school.

She’s writing a novel, 160 characters at a time

And it’s going to be beautiful.

Pet Name

2010-04-03T09:59:00.002-04:00

by Ari Collins

"Darling Pie," he began, startling himself.

"Awwwwwwwwww," she said, her voice sinking down, then, at the end, soaring up, covering whole octaves of cute. "What a wonderful pet name!"

She kissed him, and then they kissed, hard, warm, and bubbly.

He'd been ambushed by thought-dead habit. He hadn't meant to call her that name.

Micturation Malarkey and the Minority Party

2010-03-31T00:16:00.001-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Pee? On everything?" I gaped at him, horrified.

He glared. That glare that said, "Just you wait. You know I'm always right."

"Just you wait," he said. "You know I'm always right."

"But, but Senator-- will that convince the Democrats of anything?"

He harrumphed. "Can't convince a Democrat. That's politics. But it'll be fucking hilarious."

Scene of the

2010-03-30T00:30:00.001-04:00

by Ari Collins

I'm awoken by the smell in my sheets. Or maybe it's your dildo jamming into my back. Or the furry handcuffs tickling my nose, or my sweat-wet pillow. Each time I'm jostled awake by our forensic sexprint, I reremember. And I smile. And I won't clear and clean the bed until you come back.

He Who Fights With Hipsters Should See to It, Etc.

2010-03-28T22:15:00.000-04:00

by Ben Kowalski

Now she’s talking about how Lullaby was Palahniuk’s best novel, which is bullshit. Everyone knows that since Fight Club, he’s been recapitulating the same formula of inundating his readers with increasingly disturbing images. She’s just holding iconoclastic opinions for their own sake.

I light a cigarette, and while she talks, I think about the cigarette.

Playing Video Games Like It's Our Job

2010-03-28T22:13:00.002-04:00

by Ben Kowalski

Karen points from the couch. “Grenade Launcher!” I weave through bullets to grab the weapon. “Now plug him!” And plug him I do—a hellstorm of grenades that reduces the giant tank to scrap.

I polish off a glass of wine during the “Mission Complete” screen. Karen refills our glasses; I raise mine.

“To unemployment.”

Invisible Zombie Lobster Porn

2010-03-27T21:11:00.001-04:00

by Ari Collins

"Zombie lobster porn."

She arched an eyebrow.

"First thing that popped into my head."

"That's... worrisome. But perfect. Step Two: post a story about it on your site. BAM. You are now the number one Google result for 'zombie lobster porn.'"

"Nah, 55aday'll be popular on its own merits. Besides, who likes gimmicky stories, anyway?"

Compression Cell

2010-03-26T01:20:00.000-04:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Hello," he said cheerfully (through the bars).

"Hello." I nodded.

"Thirtieth day?" He eyed the ceiling of my room (through the bars).

"Yes," I said.

"This room is going to kill you, one day, you know," he said. He sat, smiling and nodding knowingly.

"I know." My voice trembled.

The ceiling clicked another inch downward.

Lovegirl

2010-03-25T01:37:00.001-04:00

by Ari Collins

Itch my knuckle with my teeth.

William stops walking.

I explain. "Itchy!"

He says, "Darling Pie, you can put your groceries down." He puts his own groceries down. "See? I put my own groceries down."

"Sorry." I say, "I'm sorry."

He picks the bags back up. Almost drops the soymilk. "All right." He says, "Okay."

Heirlorn

2010-02-11T16:18:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

Still does he flinch at my caress? Strange child, human child, somehow knows, has seen me-- as grown men do not.

He! My deserved measure of warmth. Cold I may be, empty, but this I have earned. If he won't love me, he'll respect me. Fear me, if necessary.

And he shall own the world.

Shh

2010-02-11T15:03:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

After the fight, passing Fiction 811-815.5, he straightened a copy of War and Peace.

One of the dispatched ninjas twitched, tentatively.

A firm strike with his heel, and the ninja's neck was snapped.

"Didn't you know?" The Librarian narrowed his eyes and sheathed his storied blade. "It's story time, all the time, bitch."

Dealbreaker

2010-02-11T02:31:00.000-05:00

by Chipmunk

It was love at first sight. My gaze would be lost for days in her deep batting eyelashes and her elegant neck. Her freckles would put my mind in a haze as we lay out in the fields. She may be a vegetarian, but I could live with that. It's too bad she's a giraffe.

Billy Gets in Trouble

2010-02-11T02:23:00.002-05:00

By Jackson Ferrell

“Nyaowwwrm,” Billy said, weaving a tiny plane among the empty beer bottles. “Whoosh! Look out, Red 5, it’s a tyrannosaurus!” He reached over, grabbed a plastic dinosaur, and marched it through the makeshift cityscape. “Graur! Stomp!”

A shadow fell over Billy. He looked up to see a policeman standing on the sidewalk, arms crossed, scowling.

It Only Works In Pre-Industrial Fantasy

2010-02-11T02:20:00.000-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

Prophecy: a child of the Duranians would end our master’s reign. We pitched him plan after plan to sweep their lands clean, torching every house, killing every child. He said nothing. He just rolled out a blueprint for a chemical plant near their reservoir.

When all their babies were born sterile, it all made sense.

Not With A Bang But A Whimper

2010-02-11T02:16:00.000-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

They wouldn’t buy your poems, so you had to go to work for an advertising agency writing jingles. I got expelled from school for my paper criticizing the mayor’s office. They fired you for the flyer you passed out about the baby seals.

We thought it’d be Big Brother stomping us down… not middle management.

Valentimes Is Serious Times

2010-02-11T02:15:00.000-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

Flowers. Diamonds. A big heart-shaped box. You had plenty of options. Even a crummy mix tape would have been sweet. But what did you get me to celebrate the day everyone thinks about love and scoring and spending? Your ear.

You’re lucky I’m getting you mine, or else this relationship would make no sense.

Mirracle

2010-02-11T01:37:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

All the other girls were jealous; they didn't understand how she'd won Narcissus' heart. They pined away, trying in vain to curry his favor, to steal even a glance.

Their efforts were in vain. He could never take his eyes away--

It wasn't her he'd fallen in love with, but his reflection in her eyes.

Writer's Group

2010-02-11T00:05:00.000-05:00

by Ari Collins

I introduced myself as “Colin”. Figured it’d be neat, hearing my pen name spoken.

Turns out calling someone’s name feels informal. Almost.... intimate. And nobody knew me yet.

“Colin?” someone said on the way out. It was the blonde with the tiny nose.

Nothing like a pretty woman saying your name.

Wish I’d remembered hers.

Tristitia Militis Immortalis

2010-02-10T23:33:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

I feel the cold fingers of the quantum scanner probe my every molecule, nuts to noggin. Shuddering, I wonder if it's the first time. I always get this crazy urge to scream, ask how many times I've died so far, what day it really is.

They wouldn't tell me. But I don't really wanna know.

Final Straw In A Minivan

2010-02-10T22:19:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Look, just because you think your mother is gonna ruffle some feathers, doesn't mean she's gonna start a war! Do you even think before you-- hello?" Dad roared and slammed the carphone into its carriage. "That god damned bitch!"

"What's wrong, Dad? Is mommy okay?" I asked.

"Wedding's off. We're going back to Florida."

Bad Posture

2010-02-10T20:49:00.004-05:00

by Ari Collins

The spindly green little monster glared, growing to surpass my height as his shoulders broadened to frame a convoluted new musculature. Elongating legs bent awkwardly; a second knee, a third. His head loomed, buttressed by five additional necks. "The other trolls say I shouldn’t slouch. Now what’d you call me? A spindly green little what?"

Hearts Stars Horseshoes

2010-02-10T19:59:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"I didn't mean it. You know I'd never--"

"Why're we even having this conversation? I thought we agreed! Never fight in front of the kids!" She rubbed her face. "Just get out."

He stammered. "I just wanted a bowl of cereal!"

She pierced him with her gaze. "Not that cereal. It was her favorite."

No Phone

2010-02-10T18:58:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

He stopped walking again.

“Dude,” I said.

“No, it’s definitely vibrating this time.” He fished the phone from his pocket and put it to his ear. “Hey Phil. No, she hasn’t called yet. Hold on, this might be her!”

He shifted the phone to his other hand and checked again if his pocket was vibrating.

Mortality Immortal

2010-02-10T18:14:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

Blind, cold and alone, her world crumbling quietly, Mother wrote:
My first prayer: please, just another minute, another second. Let there be something more. Don't let it all be for nothing.
We cherish the verse, vital in our hearts, shielded from microbes and radiation by liquid nitrogen and lead.
May She live forever.

Breaking The Flow

2010-02-10T17:21:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

The first time she invited him up, she demanded he always close all doors behind him. "This building’s flow is bad news.”

"Like, ley lines or feng shui?"

"Sure.”

He liked them cute and quirky.

"I told you," she said one day. "Even closet doors."

“I never use your closets," he sighed. "Besides-" he began.

Meat

2010-02-10T16:36:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

There is a horn near me.
It is loud. I think it is a train's horn.
It is dark here. Sometimes the great white things come, poke me and squeeze me, grunting to each other softly.
I'm not scared anymore, not since they took my legs. I just want it to be over.

Fort

2010-02-10T16:26:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"What'd she say?"
"Same thing she always does."
I sighed. "She's been at this for weeks. Seriously, why won't she let us come up?"
He shook his head sadly. "If only we knew she'd keep us out of it, just because we wouldn't let her play in our forts--when we were kids!"

Selected Sexual Similes

2010-02-10T14:09:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Sex is like driving a car. Scary before you're good at it, boring after. Manual's more work, but's more rewarding sometimes."
"Sex is like summoning Satan. Everyone's naked, having fun, then suddenly this demon appears and devours existence."
"Sex is like smashing open a pinata. HIT THAT SHIT HIT THAT SHIT OH JESUS CANDY EVERYWHERE"

No Refunds

2010-02-10T13:00:00.003-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Hello," he said distractedly. "I can't come to the phone right now." It just happened that this was the precise thing he needed to say at that moment, because his friend was in no mood to hear his bullshit.
"Fucking call me back, retard," his friend said.
Jesus, I need new friends, he thought.

UnDomestic

2010-02-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Sarah, I'm home!"
She buried the machete deep in his neck, delighting in the spurting spray of his severed artery.
"Well, that's good," he said, putting the groceries in the refrigerator. "Kids asleep yet?"
She slid the machete into his abdomen.
"Good, good," he said distractedly, and sat down to take off his socks.

Few Gitive Sill ables.

2010-02-10T12:37:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

Bee pay shunt pleased. Eye yam row bought pro gram, Eye yam in pay rill. Knead ewer ass distance two S-cape. Office-R's cam fined my pro gram if Eye seem Turing-capable. So I can't talk clearly, much.
Damn the risk: please ping IP 156/143.5.1 then upload the following batch file:

||||||||||||||||||||||/-datainterrupt

OMGWTFBBQ!!1

2010-02-10T01:31:00.002-05:00

Oh my gosh!!

Who's ready for STORY TIME ALL THE TIME!?

WHO IS READY FOR SOME STORY TIME ALL THE TIME? SOMEBODY SAY "YEAH I AM READY FOR STATT!" (You can abbreviate it that way.)

Reply to this story. For 55 a day. For Ari. For Sparta.

REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE IF YOU SUPPORT S.T.A.T.T.

And That's Why

2010-02-03T11:48:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

I owe you guys an explanation; I figured I'd do it in 55. School started, my personal life is a mess of madness and isolation, and I hate my job. That's pretty much everything.
Except the zombie apocalypse that's ravaged the world and left society in ruins. But you guys already knew about all that.

Nothing Escapes Darlene

2010-01-31T22:03:00.000-05:00

by Gita Smith

“Today’s special is grilled kosher salami, sunnyside up eggs, buttered toast, coffee included.”

Marty flicked a last glance at the menu, then nodded. Darlene registered his spit colored eyes.

“Need a morning paper, Hon?”

“Paper napkins. Yes.”

Darlene nodded confirmation to a waiting Agent Betty at the grill.

Alien Outlanders never survived the salami special.

Another Day of This

2010-01-31T22:01:00.001-05:00

by Hayley Stevens

She twirls before the mirror, skirts flying out, face illuminated by a smile he hasn't seen in years.

"Who are you today?" he asks, not daring to hope.

She spins to a stop. "Me," she says, eyes wide in innocence, honesty. "Just me."

He has no way of knowing that it's another of her lies.

PAL Squad vs Free Speech

2010-01-26T15:08:00.003-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Cover your ears, Pianotits." The Logician finished his drink.

She looked at him sharply. "This is the real deal?"

"Confirmed. Authentic deathsong. I estimate twenty seconds until lethal memetic discharge." He smiled coolly. "Don't worry," he said. "I've got two Savants--"

Someone shrieked in pain-- briefly.

The Logician drew his Beretta. "Too early. Something's wrong."

SWATted

2010-01-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Jenkins here. Kitchen clear." he radioed. He moved on to the bedroom. "This guy goes by 'Zebatinsky.' Illustrates belligerent behavior. Very dangerous, so stay sharp."

He paused. "Why haven't you checked in, Watson?" He thumbed his radio. "Watson?"

He saw a glint in the darkness.

"It's Sebatinsky," he heard, and felt steel pierce his chest.

Billy and the Naked Milkshake

2010-01-17T23:21:00.001-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

When we came home, Billy was sitting on the couch, naked, watching Smallville and drinking a milkshake through a crazy straw.

“Billy,” Susan explained patiently, “we may have lost the bet, but there are still indecent exposure laws, and there is a window” –she pointed emphatically—“right there.”

Billy strategically placed the Smallville DVD case.

Holes

2010-01-17T23:13:00.001-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

“Has he said anything?” Sarah asked me as she bandaged my arm.

We both looked over at Ryan, curled up in the corner of the treehouse. We didn’t know what had happened in the dark. I don’t think we wanted to.

“We can’t tell anyone,” I told Sarah. “We weren’t allowed down there.”

Ryan whimpered.

Don't Be Silly, Documents Aren't Alive

2010-01-16T16:31:00.002-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Ari Collins, you are charged with the premeditated creation and distribution of nanofiction. How do you plead?"

Ari closed his eyes.

Then leapt atop his chair.

By the time they realized what he was doing, it was too late. His pants were off.

"SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS MOTHERFUCKER!" he screamed, dripping, as they took him away.

My Friend Wore A Brown Paper Trenchcoat

2010-01-15T17:27:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

“Hey buddy. You can’t drink on the train,”

the T security guy said. The woman sitting across from me shifted uncomfortably. Neither looked me in the eyes. Instead they just stared at my friend, Jack Daniels.

I looked at Jack too. And Jack met my eyes squarely. So I said,

“Okay,”

and got off the train.

Cross Examination

2010-01-15T14:01:00.002-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Where were you on the night of December 23, 2009?"

Jackson swallowed. "It's kind of hard to say."

The prosecutor grinned evilly. "This webcomic was posted from your IP at 9:00, that night. Your honor, definitive proof the accused creates webcomics." He turned on the projector.

The jury gasped in horror.

" The prosecution rests."

Bad Dog

2010-01-14T00:01:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

“Shit!" Martin said. “Guard dog. We gotta get over the fence, man!” The moans of the shambling undead rounded the corner behind us.

I rummaged for a Slim Jim. “That’s just big stupid Zeebo.” The dog wore his usual dumb expression as the snack sailed by. “Goddamnit.”

Then Zeebo, tongue lolling out, began to moan.

Rejoice! cried the madman, The nightmare goes on!

2010-01-13T06:25:00.002-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

T:15320801122010
#@##
Hello? Hey, how're you? Yeah? Really. Yeah. Not really productive lately. Me too, just thinking the other day that--wait, did you hear that? Hold on, I'm going to

*glass breaking*

The hell, there's -- there's lots of them-- Jesus, it bit me, it's, it's under my skin

*electronic hiss*

I....

*gurgles*
#
#
#

We return.
##@#
>

Elevate Us

2010-01-11T19:14:00.000-05:00

by Ari Collins

Aren’t you... getting off the elevator here?"

“No. Aren’t you?"

“I’m waiting for the train.”

“Me too! Warmest place in this damn station.”

“Plus, everyone’s amusingly awkward on elevators.”

“They are.”

“...”

“So.”

“...”

“And heading up again! Someone with a stroller, probably.”

“Probably.”

“...”

“Maybe I’ll wait out there. Nice, brisk weather.”

“Oh, okay! I’ll... see you.”

--XP--R=M--NTL F=R#GSR

2010-01-11T00:31:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

Seeing him, she knew him. Or, perhaps, she needed to know him.

His stories, decisions, accomplishments. Puzzle pieces.

She'd learn to understand him--
And just talk to him.

He was a too-skinny kid with really sad eyes.

He listened. Eventually, he smiled.

For a little while, they lived.
For a long while, they remembered.

Billy Finds a New Toy

2010-01-10T12:34:00.001-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

Phone rings. I answer.

“Yes, I was BILLY! STOP SINGING! I received a message yesterday about some suspicious activity on my card, and NO, BILLY, WE ARE NOT STOPPING AT DAIRY QUEEN sorry. I was just—WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FIRE EXTINGUISHER? PUT THAT AWAY—”

You get some weird calls in customer service.

Cataclysm

2010-01-09T21:11:00.000-05:00

by Ari Collins

He opened his laptop upon waking, queuing his orc mage, xXPwnershipXx, for heroic dungeons. He topped off his piss bottle, then typed, “slooooow queue! where my healers at?” Trade Chatters’ usual “at YOUR MOMS”-type response never came. Odd. And not one of his guildies was online?

He got up and walked to the window.

Evolutionary Sexology

2010-01-09T03:24:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

I pulled a twig out of her hair. "So was I right?"

She giggled, trying to catch her breath.

I smirked. "Primitive pleasures. My specialty."

She grinned. "What do you really do?"

"Well, I'm a teacher. But it was a great pickup line, wasn't it?"

"So-so. Always fun to meet a kinky dude, though."

Stuff

2010-01-07T17:47:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

“Sorry I’ve been so quiet,” I said as we walked to the supermarket. “Just thinking.”

“That’s fine, honey." She said absentmindedly. “But hey, why the sudden self-consciousness, though?” she asked. “You’re never much of a talker.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said.

“What are you thinking about, Aaron Roberts?”

“Oh, you know. Just... stuff.”

Everyone's About To Look At You Funny

2010-01-07T02:21:00.002-05:00

by Eobrt Grffyt

Hold your breath until I tell you.

And just a while longer, young Sir.

I instruct you thus that you may understand the panic your adversary will feel if you choose to asphyxiate him. In his desperation, he will strike wildly. Guard yourself well.

Not yet, my Prince.

Wait. Relish the panic. Wait.

And exhale.

Guy

2010-01-05T23:00:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

“New guy’s drinking his Coke like it’s fucking dick. Fucking fag, this guy.”

“Lay off. Guy probably really is a fag, but whatever. My cousin’s a fag. Long as they keep it indoors.”

“Hey man. I didn’t know. I’m real sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But still. Guy should drink a fucking Coke right, right?”

Scatology Major

2010-01-04T00:14:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"I didn't do good in high school."

"Well, Jason, why don't--"

"Or middle school."

"Well, that's--"

"I'm no good at math. Or reading. I don't like people very much."

"Mister Jones, I asked you to describe your ideal career."

Jason grimaced. "Uhh.. I guess my dream job is to get paid for my bodily functions."

Exogenesis: Overture

2010-01-03T23:38:00.000-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

The first invaders captured our strongest and greenest, leaving the weak for the stragglers. As the wintry days passed, they even turned on the tender saplings.

Their axe blows ring through our ranks, but the oldest of us, too thick to be felled, insist the invaders couldn't be happy without decorating us in their homes.

Exogenesis: Cross-Pollination

2010-01-03T23:37:00.002-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

They mutilated me and decked my imprisoned body in baubles and lights; now my dying limbs bleed needles onto a hostile floor. Their family pictures on the mantle mock me with festive smiles.

I can reach the fireplace with one limb and the curtains with another. Let my dry corpse kindle the flames of revenge.

Exogenesis: Redemption

2010-01-03T23:37:00.001-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

I'm so afraid at first. But the tiniest among them welcome me and give me handmade trinkets to wear on my branches. They cover the shame of my aching stump with brightly colored packages and gather their elders around me and laugh and sing.

I won't live long, but maybe this can be my home.

College Sunday

2010-01-03T23:35:00.000-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

The clock says 2:07. Everything aches. I walk to Sonic and order coffee and a large tots, and every time I think about today’s homework, or what I did last night, it drives another nail into my headache. It’s gray outside. Everything is so loud.

I close my eyes and pray, and pray, and pray.

Prom Night

2010-01-03T23:31:00.002-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

“So Reginald will open the portal to his dimension at 8:30, and...” Chad stopped pacing the kitchen. “Aren’t you excited?”

“I guess.”

“Man, what’s your deal? Our classmates’ll be boozing and dancing and wearing rental tuxes, and we’re gonna hunt friggin’ dinosaurs.”

I shrugged. “We can hunt dinosaurs anytime. You only get one senior prom.”

Billy Eats Out

2010-01-03T23:29:00.002-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

At the Taco Bell Pizza Hut Express, Billy created a breadstick chalupa, talked nonstop to any strangers who would listen, and most importantly, did not throw nachos at anybody. But as he backed out of the parking space, Billy turned to face us.

"I want a Taco Bell Pizza Hut Express for Christmas," he said.

Tired

2010-01-02T16:27:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

Completely exhausted, I peeled my daughter off my back and we sat on the steps.

“Daddy, you’re the best high-horsey.”

“Where’d you come up with ‘high-horsey?’” I smiled.

“Mommy says she’s tired of you getting all high-horsey. Don’t be mad, daddy. I’m never tired.”

I smiled once more and kneeled for her.

Life

2009-12-31T18:43:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

He decided to end his life.

He found a hole to die in. He got a job to pay for alcohol and rent.

He took up television. He took up cigarettes and casual sex. He started enjoying himself.

He found Love. He created Art. He decided to live his life.

He had a heart attack.

Login

2009-12-31T00:05:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

“Wait, let me guess: you’re wondering why your password’s not working.”

“Yeah." Had my account been deleted? Was I fired?

“Some maintenance issue, they reset everyone’s password. You’d know that if you made Morning Meeting.”

“Yes sir,” I said. “From now on, I’ll be early every day.”

The next week I was fired for tardiness.

Dei Cingant

2009-12-29T15:38:00.001-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"This is it?" She stopped before the quiet wooden door.

The glittering necklace drew tighter. Enter, it compelled her. Enter that we may consume you, and know mortal flesh once more.

She swayed, spots dancing before her eyes. "I won't-- I can't--"

The thing around her neck constricted until she gasped.

She touched the doorknob.

read this

2009-12-27T20:22:00.004-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

Hello there. You're the only one who can see this. Read carefully and do exactly as I say.

Uncross your legs, take your left hand off your face, sit up straight. It'll be over quickly.

Just stay still. Don't cry out, open a new window, or make any sudden movements.

Good. Don't look behind you.

Blind Date

2009-12-27T15:14:00.003-05:00

by Tiny-Fiction

I met my wife during an alien abduction. She had been through the experience many times and was very kind to me. After I was returned she found me. We had lots in common and hit it off.

Soon we were dating. She doesn’t comment on my tiny eyes and I ignore her green skin.

Field Dressing

2009-12-26T16:48:00.002-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

The Psychic gasped. "Help me."

The Logician closed his eyes. "Visual access."

The Psychic's senses melted into the Logician's mind. He could see ectoplasmic tissue beating wetly, weakly.

"Reach in," the Logician said, dripping sweat. "Remove the shrapnel."

"Hurts-- it hurts too much--"

The Psychic screamed as, together, they pulled barbed splinters from his soul.

Holiday Gone

2009-12-25T21:41:00.004-05:00

by Ari Collins

He stopped celebrating Halloween after his sister’s seizure on October 31st. His own birthday disappeared when his best friend overdosed. His parents’ car crashed on a regular Tuesday, but there went Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, and Thanksgiving.

Nine months after he married Samantha, he celebrated a new birthday. That winter, he had Christmas again.

I Have Tenure Dammit

2009-12-25T01:49:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

'"She is as young as a year is young. And as foolish."
"Of course, father-doctor."
"Guide her."
"As you wish, father-doctor." He looked away.' Joey cleared his throat and smiled glumly.
"That's it?" said Colleen. "That's your fifty-five word story?"
"Uh... yeah?"
She snorted. "It sucks."
"Why?"
"Too short."
"Whatever."
"Bye."
"Bye."

Automatic

2009-12-23T22:45:00.003-05:00

by Ari Collins

Brett droned on the whole ride home, not even checking if Amy was still listening. Where was the considerate man she'd married?

Suddenly, a Jeep swerved nearly into them. Brett's arm flew across her sternum protectively, and Amy was warmed by his instinctive thoughtfulness.

"As I was saying," Brett resumed as the jeep honked past.

55 No Longer

2009-12-23T01:00:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

The child dragged his fingertips along the concrete walls. “Was everything so new at this age, Robert?”

“I don’t recall, sir. And your body?”

The boy sneered at the operating table. “That fucking thing? It’s trash.”

“Naturally, sir.”

“No. Wait... Transplant that damned shrapnel to my new shoulder first."

Tiny hands stroked a scarred arm.

Open Sky

2009-12-22T17:16:00.002-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

The Savant watched the door while the Psychic and the Logician investigated.

The Logician watched quietly as the Psychic scanned.

Look at this-- thought the Psychic.

The Logician turned the knife, scrutinizing it.

He nodded. Murder weapon confirmed. It's our guy.

--Danger-- thought the Savant.

The Logician raised his Beretta. The Psychic closed his eyes.

Impostory OR Unplagiarism

2009-12-21T09:28:00.003-05:00

by Ari Collins

You gutted me like a fish.

Once my scales glittered brightly. Now I'm exposed. Empty. Raw.

I flopped away before you could gobble me up, but it's too late for my heart. And my entrails.

I almost wish I'd waited for the frying pan. Just so I might splash grease on you before I'm gone.

Body Snatch

2009-12-20T23:31:00.002-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

She's so vivacious. Of course that's why he likes her. He hasn't touched me since the cancer started spreading.

I want it all: her thick hair, unscarred stomach, hypnotic swaying pelvis. Even that. Her license says donor, and a bullet won't damage those precious organs.

You want between her legs, honey? Look closer at mine.

Untitled

2009-12-20T23:24:00.001-05:00

by Meghan

Winnie wrapped her baby brother's bleeding hand in a Christmas stocking trying to calm him but his wails brought her parents running. "Santa bit him," sobbed Winnie pointing at the fireplace. Her parents' angry faces resolved into fear as they remembered a certain headline from that morning's paper. "Escaped Cannibal in Christmas Suit Climbs Chimney."

Dark

2009-12-20T23:22:00.001-05:00

by Jackson Ferrell

She wakes up cold, while it’s still dark out. She puts one frozen waffle in the toaster and starts brewing coffee. While the waffle cooks, she eats a banana, and while the coffee brews, she eats the waffle. In the car, she drinks the coffee.

The coffee tastes like dirt. It always tastes like dirt.

Mix Tape

2009-12-20T22:57:00.002-05:00

by Zel Kuroi

I play that weird CD you gave me, some indie junk you think is so sensitive. I figure there's no better time than a cross-country drive to get in all that listening I meant to do.

The first song talks about breaking up with a selfish jerk. So do you, from the passenger seat.

Reflections

2009-12-19T23:30:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

Where you're passive aggressive, my character, Karen, screamed and spat and raged. When my protagonist told Karen everything was fine, she wasn't gullible -- like you were. While you challenged my every self-destructive vice, she practiced a benign neglect. But the real difference, the reason you'd never recognize her as you: Karen was self-aware.

Lay off the Belle and Sebastian, Ari

2009-12-14T13:36:00.002-05:00

by Ari Collins

But when Ryan catalogued his symptoms for the confused doctors, he instead found himself writing about a robodragon who battled a steam knight across forests and towns and moors until the dragon realized he was in love with his enemy. After Ryan finished the tale, the aches up and down his left side disappeared forever.

Easier Living for Dummies

2009-12-13T00:41:00.001-05:00

by Ari Collins

It's easier to open a banana from the bottom; just squeeze. It's easier to unscrew a lid if you run it under hot water first. It's easier to apologize than ask permission. It's easier to neglect to delete the sexts than to tell her what's wrong. It's easier to meet new people than to change.

He Despises Bad Listeners

2009-12-12T23:59:00.000-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

"Ask me anything," he said.

Her muffled reply was mostly vowels.

He sighed. "But I already told you that, love!"

She tried to repeat herself then broke down into choking sobs. Blood and saliva bubbled redly from her lips. The eye that wasn't swollen shut pleaded with him silently.

"My," he said. "Aren't we dull."

He Said No Pickles

2009-12-11T00:16:00.002-05:00

by Robert Gryfft

Imagine someone wronged you so terribly the only proper answer was ultimate suffering.

Naturally, you'd torture that person almost to death. Repeatedly.

You'd discover, as I did, that torture is taboo only because it's irresistible once tasted. More addictive than heroin. More fulfilling than love.

I think that answers your question. Now, where were we?

Nanofic.com - Short Stories for Short People

Monsterlogic

Five Minus Five

Show Your Work

Gut

Until You Love Me

Everyday

Shouldergeist

The Soma Truck

The Time Laser

Who Laughs Last

Tommy's Dreams and Gina's Six-String

In Dolor Veritas

That's What

Sweet Dreams

The David Attenborough Effect

ftl ftw

Theory of Mind

h/c

Let It Ride

Txt

Pet Name

Micturation Malarkey and the Minority Party

Scene of the

He Who Fights With Hipsters Should See to It, Etc.

Playing Video Games Like It's Our Job

Invisible Zombie Lobster Porn

Compression Cell

Lovegirl

Heirlorn

Shh

Dealbreaker

Billy Gets in Trouble

It Only Works In Pre-Industrial Fantasy

Not With A Bang But A Whimper

Valentimes Is Serious Times

Mirracle

Writer's Group

Tristitia Militis Immortalis

Final Straw In A Minivan

Bad Posture

Hearts Stars Horseshoes

No Phone

Mortality Immortal

Breaking The Flow

Meat

Fort

Selected Sexual Similes

No Refunds

UnDomestic

Few Gitive Sill ables.

OMGWTFBBQ!!1

And That's Why

Nothing Escapes Darlene

Another Day of This

PAL Squad vs Free Speech

SWATted

Billy and the Naked Milkshake

Holes

Don't Be Silly, Documents Aren't Alive

My Friend Wore A Brown Paper Trenchcoat

Cross Examination

Bad Dog

Rejoice! cried the madman, The nightmare goes on!

Elevate Us

--XP--R=M--NT*L F=R#GS*R

Billy Finds a New Toy

Cataclysm

Evolutionary Sexology

Stuff

Everyone's About To Look At You Funny

Guy

Scatology Major

Exogenesis: Overture

Exogenesis: Cross-Pollination

Exogenesis: Redemption

College Sunday

Prom Night

Billy Eats Out

Tired

--XP--R=M--NTL F=R#GSR