Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Duel

by Ari Collins


Blood steamed off her solar bayonet. “You wanted this.”

I stepped over what remained of my royal guards. “I wanted you dead.”

“Then why send your lieutenants one by one? You could’ve buried me with your brother’s army—”

“My army!”

She smirked.

“Very well. Have it your way.” I hefted my neg hammer and charged.

4 comments:

Jackson said...

I'm not sure if science fiction played completely straight works in the 55-word format. It feels like it needs some kind of twist to make it work--it's a little too orthodox as is.

abbreviatedman said...

But... it's space opera! Everyone loves space opera!

The need-for-a-twist is an aspect of 55s that I've always found interesting. It's almost like there's no other way to have a plot in 55 words.

But... space opera!

Jackson said...

Well, you're right. I misdiagnosed it--it's not a lack of a twist after all. For me, at least, the problem is that I'm having difficulty caring about these people and their conflict. I don't even know if it's a revenge vendetta or not...too much space opera coolness and not enough character substance. Does that make more sense as an assessment?

abbreviatedman said...

But... SPACE OPERA!

No, yeah, not exactly the deepest story ever written.