Wednesday, July 25, 2007


by Ari Collins

Akinori Bergstein sued the driver who crippled his preferred masturbating hand. Vindicated, he sued: the cook who ruined shrimp for him, the ex-girlfriend who said his dick was tiny, the Mohel who couldn’t aim, the culture that regretted teaching him to “just be yourself,” and the writer who ruined his life for a self-imposed deadline.

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